TheMightyWings, December 29, 2008

December 29, 2008...

I was hospitalized for the first time... pen

I woke up that evening but was still dying to get some extra hours of sleep. I knew, I had to go to work and after that a stretch of a three day leave awaited me. After all it was th new year's eve and that day was the last working day of the last week of the December 2008 to work.

I had already made plans for a private celebration and counted on the fact that I just had to bear with a few hours at the office and I will be sleeping for later than usual after I came home form work. Then I would start a marathon of watching DVD's at home with my father and sneak out for a few drinks, infact I had already had set aside a hefty tip for the barmen.

I looked at the watch, it was 16:37 hours IST. I had little more than 30 minutes to get ready and leave for work. A smoke would make me fully awake even though I had a good afternoon's sleep and was feeling ready for the night shift at work. I had been working the night shifts for the last several years.

I knew and settled for the fact that night sleep was an unaffordable luxury, but today I was anticipating just a few hours at work and I would be affording this luxury for three full days. That too it was the new year's eve.

Half way through the smoke and I suddenly realized that instead of feeling alert and active, I had an intense desire to jump into bed but I knew that was not possible. I had to finish eating lunch. Yes, I have my lunch around 17:00 hours although I have very little appetite or desire to eat but I have to, even if I wished that I had a few more hours to go to work.

Cant help it that way there are only twenty four hours in a day.

I had to catch a local train from Barrackpore and head for the Ulta Danga station, now known as Bidhan Nagar Road. Hail an Auto rickshaw from there and finally reach office. A daily commute of 45 minutes.

It was rather a pleasant trip to the office the atmosphere seemed to be charmed with new year's reek. Every one seemed to anticipating the year ahead with hope and prosperity. I was dressed for the occasion or should I say that in winters I like wearing a coat and tie. I look smart.

The day seemed to pass rather quickly, was it me or the the days extra load that kept my mind off every thing including the watch or was it some thing else that I made it through almost three hours of work without any hassle or yearn to jump in new year mood. Then, I looked at the watch it was 22:15 hours.

I had was helping a customer of our company over the phone, he needed a real big help in regards to a real big problem. I did help him out and at the same time I also upsold him an insurance product. By the time I was in the middle of finishing the formalities; I felt some thing was not right. Is is indigestion? gas? or what?

I continued to speak to the customer but I was finding it very difficult to keep up and had a feeling of suffocation. There was a slight pain on the left side of the upper chest just below the arm pit.

I thought, "I should rather take a short time off have some fresh air and a coffee, and may be stretch my arms a bit, I guess I slept on the wrong side..." , my mind was racing but I did not realize that I had started to sweat already.

I looked around and realized that the bosses were in a meeting. I guess I will have to inform some one a bit higher up and then take the break. A few more hours endure and I will enjoy the stretch of holidays.

The satisfied customer ended the phone conversation on a happy note as I was able to up sell and at the same time, he was happy as I being an experienced executive, had made a good presentation even amidst coughs and deep breaths.

I found that I was sweating rather badly, I pushed the chair back and got up. My friend and colleague. Ms. Sharmishtha said. "What happened?", she had never seen me taking unscheduled breaks.

I said in between deep breaths, "" Naaah! Just taking a short break."

I walked up to one of the big bosses but I found my self walking slower than usual. It was that stupid pain in the chest and it is causing me to breathe with difficulty. Must be a sprain. It is making it very difficult in in hale and ex hale.

"Mr. A----" , I was face to face with the gentle man in a very senior position but he had a great reputation of being polite and helpful since the day I had known him, "I am ... having a pain in the chest.. can I take a short break."

I finished the sentence with great difficulty.

"Yes, yes", he said looking at me,"go take a break. I will tell your boss if she returns. ... and yes, if you need any help do let me know."

I took very short steps and walked out of the office floor.

I never had a feeling that I am invincible but I believed that I am strong. Mentally as well as to some extent physically, as apart form irregular sleeping habits and occasional fever, cold and stomach upsets, I never had any major medical condition that required an urgent attention.

A splash of water in the face and a smoke and a little stretching of the arms and legs. I will be fine... so I thought.

As I some how managed to go to the men's room, I was greeted by my other colleagues.

"Hey Sudip?", They were just saying hi. But I saw the gleam of a knowing smile fade to a color of concern, "What happened man? You are sweating like..."

It was December 29th, 2008 and the temperature was chilling. No other word, one of them, started to message my back as I leaned over the wash basin and the other one ran to his Boss.

"Hey buddy cough!", he said while still vigorously messaging my back.," it will clear some blocks in you. "

Next thing I remember was two men, one of them a manager operation of a different team and an assistant manager of some other team Ranajeet, rushed in the men's room.

"Well , lets inform Darshan and Mike", said Ranajeet, "we have to take you to the A-- Hospital, Sudip." He said.

Ms. Darshan Kaur Gandhi is my immidiate superior and Mike is her manager.

There were three people helped me get on the lift and by that time, my friend and team members Samiul and Sharmistha had already joined in to help.

They helped me go downstairs. By that time Mike, my manager operation was already there. 'Damn, what is going on?' , I was thinking to myself.

As Ranajeet loosened my tie, Samiul helped take off my coat. By that time I saw Darshan come running through the staircase.

Mike said, "Sudip, we need to take you to the hospital, you will be ok."

"Wheel chair, where is the wheel chair? ", I don't remember who shouted that. A wheel chair was brought in and I was seated on that. I was out of the office building and this time Darshan was wheeling the chair, while Mike was on his cell phone, arranging an office cab for me.

Soon Darshan went to check on the cab while, Mike started to wheel the chair, it was then when he said,"Sudip, what man? You are having a heart attack on New year's eve?"

"Me? a heart attack? I am thirty four ...(years old) "

"Well, you are going through one."

"Does he know?", I heard Darshan's voice.

"Well he knows now.", said Mike.

I was quickly put in the cab and we sped towards the hospital with Darshan beside me. "How are you feeling Sudip?", she asked me.

"I am fine I guess, but I feel as if some one has punched me hard in the chest." , I then realized the window of the car was open,I found myself asking Darshan " The window is open right?... why am I sweating?".

Darshan simply looked at me blankly. She too had the same color of concern in her eyes. Now, I too was a little concerned. Am I going through a heart attack? I am just thirty four years old.

My reverie was abruptly broken, when the car stopped at a police check post. There were two other cars in front of us. The Policemen were checking each car. The security had been tightened in the wake of the recent terror attacks and I saw a black Police jeep parked near by and the unmistakable sight of two police commandoes wearing armoured gears with their automatic weapons drawn.

The driver of the cab started to waive a red cloth. This was a sign that he is carrying a paitent. The police men peeped in the car. "Show them the I card ", I said.

As we flashed our cards, our car was allowed to pass through without any questions.

We reached the hospital. I had always wondered what the process of admitting a paitent in the hospital was. Now I knew, they took me straight to the hospital's emergency room (ER) and in no time I was on a bed. The trained nurses quickly attached several electrodes on my chest, legs and arms. They kept on saying, "Relax mister, relax" .

Relax? How? Just now, two of you women, pushed up my shirt to stick so many wires in my body, another one, jabbed in a syringe and drew blood and quickly gave me an injection of some thing. I started to feel a bit better after that. The I saw Mike come to the bed, "Sudip, you need to take care of yourself.", he said.

As Darshan paid the bills, Mike said,"They need to admit you for at least twenty four hours to keep you under observation."

Me admitted in the hospital? Where an elderly gentle man is fighting for his life in the bed on my left and on my right another woman is groaning in pain? Never! My father who is a heart paitent, will surely be worried upon not seeing me and getting the news that I am hospitalized. I would go home. I want to go home.

Darshan was already speaking to the senior nurse, "What happened to him? "
- "He is suffering from anxiety... it is an anxiety attack." .

I refused admission but not after a shouting. Upon signing a "paitent refused admission" form, I was told that I will have to replace all the medicines they pushed in to me at the ER. I will have to get them form the 24 hour pharmacy of the hospital.

The attending clerk at the ER, seemed to be a little absent minded as a relative of another paitent had given him a nice blast for some reason.

I asked him, do we have to pay for these, he said no. I asked him again, he said no again; to the effect the hospital security officer heard him say so too. Darshan offered to go to the pharmacy and get the medicines her self. It was nice of her, but I wanted to get out of the ER.

On reaching the pharmacy the pharmacy clerk said "Rs. 547.00"

"What ?", I exclaimed. Even the same security officer who had accompanied us from the ER, was also surprised.

I demanded to speak to the ER clerk and my demand was immediately granted. They handed me the intercom.
I started to gradually express my anger. I told him, "Brother, you said, I would have to just hand over the replacements to you... why do I have to pay for these?" I was taken aback, when he said,"You are working for a Bank, still you do not know these things... that you have to pay?"

I was now at full steam,"Hey , hey , hey. Listen, you do not have to worry about where I work. Since I work at the --- Bank that's why I asked you twice. Do I have to pay for these?", I turned to the security officer," See... did I not ask him twice? He said we need not pay for these. Right? "

The security officer nodded in approval.

"Look here brother, your own staff is agreeing with me.", I continued on the phone.

This time Darshan, who had never witnessed, such an agitation in me, intervened,"Ok, Ok... lets get out of here..."

I paid through my credit card.

I went to the office, put my things in the office locker, and said good bye to every one.

I was allowed to go home and it was then when I took a closer look at the diagnosis.

It said, "Acute coronary syndrome" . What ever that may mean in english.

I am at home now (at the time of writings) . A local cardiologist advised one week's rest. Though I had been yearning for a long leave but now I want to go back to work.