A belated love story, part 6 ...

Continued from part 5

I remember that I returned to the City of Desert along with my parents; this was a city that I was never able to adapt to.

But this time I was in a completely different mood. I had a sense of accomplishment and achievement. I was still charmed and enchanted with Alice's touch and kisses. This time the city of desert seemed to be a completely different place. Everything was so nice and calm.

The first thing I did after I returned to the City of Desert was to write a letter to Alice. As I was about to finish the letter a feeling of dread started to creep up my spine. The dread was Alice's father. My parents had known him to be very strict and controlling man. During many of my visits to the Native land, over the past years, I had heard him shout at his children (including Alice) several times.

Though my letter to Alice did not contain any explosive or explicit material, still I decided to show the letter I wrote, the very first letter to my beloved, to my best friend... who was non other than my mother. In case she felt the letter was a little too much, I would make changes in it.

My mother quickly sniffed the smell of a candid affair as she read through the letter. I could easily figure out she resented the idea of me mailing that letter. She objected... but I did not listen... She thought my letters to Alice would land her (Alice) in trouble. May be her parents did not approve of the relationship. I had no way of knowing anything about that.

I mailed that letter but sadly I never received a reply. From then on the sense of bliss gradually started to evaporate, not because Alice never replied my letter but for other reasons.

I was fully aware of the fact that I was going through the foundation stage of my adult life to come. Whatever I would do now or achieve now would determine the fate of years to come. I should have paid more attention to these thoughts.

Still this awareness did not seem to take toll on me, what did; was the atrocities of my Physics teacher.
Earlier he wanted me to take up his private tuition, which I refused but not because of the money he demanded but the distance his place was from my house in the City of Desert.

He started to criticize even the smallest of mistakes I made, he would insult me openly in front of the whole class... would say, “Well your father is a big man... you don’t need to study... that why you make such mistakes purposely,...” ¹. I had not told anything about this to my father because he was under tremendous work pressure.

Days went by, I started to somehow manage my studies. My Physics teacher’s torments started to drain my spirit day by day. The only consolation again, was my thoughts about Alice, whenever I used to think of her, I used to feel a little relieved.

I got through the XII grade exams and somehow managed to get 63.8% aggregate. Though this was much less than what I achieved in X grade exams, still I was able to pursue a career in engineering.

My first choice was Computer Science, but my percentage of marks in XII exams were not enough, so I made a decision to pursue Aeronautical Engineering² and pilot traing.

In the beginning of 1993, things seemed to have settled for the moment. One day, my mother saw me spend more time than usual with a certain smile that she had never seen on my face.

She asked, “What’s the matter Sudip?, ... are you in love?” ³

I said, "Yes! Mom I am in love!! I am in love with Alice!!!"

She said, "Damn it I knew it!! That day when I saw you too... I realized..!!!^*

I did not realize why but my mother looked concerned.

I started the Aeronautical engineering course in the year March 1994, I wanted to specialize in Avionics. So I finally left the city Desert and went to the city of hills, everything seemed to go well till the year 1995, but after that things took a turn for the worst.

I was unable to clear a certain subject in June 2005 exams. But I did not think much about it. I thought I shall clear it next time. I had nothing fear or worry now. My Physics teacher was no longer a concern; I was so much in love with Alice that I did not even think of anything or anyone else. ⁴

Whenever I was on college vacation, I visited my parents; I used to repeatedly ask my mother, “Mom when we are planning a trip to Native land...?”

She never gave me a straight answer ⁵. She used to say, “Your father has been given a major responsibility... he needs to attend to it.”

I was convinced by those answers, as I never saw my father take a leave from office except when he felt a little under the weather. He did take vacations but he went to religious places and took his family, which included me, along with.

Time passed, I started to get worried when even after three attempts I could not clear the subjects in which I failed in June 2005. In addition to that I also failed in another paper. They seemed to be a result of lack of sleep.

The subjects were complicated and I was unable to sleep well for days on end, especially when the exams were near. With two backs (failures) in the engineering course, I was in a little tight corner.

It was January 1997.

I started to take stock of my life. I am away from home in a different city- away from my parents, I need to complete the engineering course, get a job and pay my sponsor ² , marry Alice and start a life of my own. I can fly small planes... I need to try for the big ones. The training plane, a Boeing 737 is old but sexy. I must fly her. I looked at the mirror, I had lost weight. Irregular sleeping and eating habits coupled with chain smoking ⁶ took my health away ⁷.

So it was job, Alice, money and health... my thoughts drifted towards Alice...

I started to recall, as soon as we reached the city of desert in June 1992, after I proposed to Alice, I wrote her a letter. To which I never received a reply. I wrote and mailed two more candid ones in late 1993; but still there were no replies.

I thought I was sure that my letters had landed her in a "frying pan", any more letters to Alice and her fatherwould have surely killed her.

I never stopped wondering how is she? How does she look now? Is her hair still long? I never knew.

This time I decided to the matters in my own hands. Coincidently, I met a junior student of my college in January 1997. His nickname was Dr. Ritz Intercontinental or simply Dr. Ritz. No one knows how he got this name, but everyone including him liked the sound of it. So the name stuck.

Now Dr. Ritz was a resident of Native land. He was born and raised there. More importantly had a vast network of reliable contacts in the city of the Native land.

I disclosed my desperation to contact Alice to him.

He was ready to help, he said, “No problem Boss ⁹ ! That’s what friends are for... and I am very experienced in this type of covert operations. Don’t worry... I will ask a girl friend of mine from Native land to call Alice up.”

I gave him Alice’s residence phone number, I had it with me all the time but then again I never dared to call her. A mistake that I would regret later.

I was still under the impression that my earlier letters directly addressed to her, must have landed her in trouble. Indian society is still rather conservative at times. A phone call would land her up in a furnace and ofcourse and long distance calls were very expensive in those days.

But these were just my thoughts ⁸. My heart never stopped beating with anticipation from the time Dr. Ritz, mailed a letter to his friend Juanita, debriefing her, what she needs to do.

The plan was simple. She would call Alice up. She would tell her, she is calling her on my behalf. Juanita would ask a simple question (that in fact mattered a lot), “Sudip have not heard from Alice for a long time, is everything alright?”
This simple question would answer a lot of others. The letter was mailed. I waited for long agonizing days for the response with mixed emotions. There was no internet in India in those days.

Several days later, Dr. Ritz, came to my room with Juanita’s letter in his hand. The look on his face gave me the impression that whatever is written in that letter I might not like it.

This was the moment of truth. I finally made contact with Alice after five years.

I read the letter. Excerpts from the letter is as follows,

Hello old friend Dr. Ritz,

I called Alice’s house. I had to try calling three times then finally I got through to her. I said I was a friend of Sudip, calling on his behalf...

I told her, “Sudip did not hear from you for quite a long time now. He needs to know if you (Alice) are okay.”

The reply I got was not very encouraging; Alice first asked me, “Who is Sudip...?”

I was taken aback, but I had to tell her, “Sudip says he is having an affair with you since 1992...”
Alice interrupted me and said she has never gone around with anyone... she does not know any Sudip Ghosh... she (Alice) told me... I was calling the wrong number and hung up on me. So Dr. Ritz, please ask you friend if he is telling the truth.

And I see no reason to pester her (Alice) any more....

I had to read the letter several times to fully comprehend what exactly I was reading. My heart sank. Then Dr. Ritz who was quite for more than half an hour broke his silence, “Boss... maybe she is afraid... She doesn't’t want to talk to a stranger like Juanita... you know the world today...”

May be he is right. May be she is afraid... maybe..?

I must see Alice any how now! Where is that time machine? Juanita’s letter that I read, had increased my yearn to meet Alice exponentially ¹⁰, though I was feeling like a chess player whose most important chess men are gone and the opponent is just playing around killing the remaining forces to add insult to injury. It is only a matter of time before check mate.

Vaccation time was near, Dr. Ritz was going home to Native Land and I wrote a very short letter to my parents. The main essence of that letter was the question; are we going to Native land or not? My mother wrote back to me, stating that we will visit Native land, after my exams are over in June 1997. She was aware that I was failing in papers. I decided to meet Dr. Ritz at his home in Native land when I reach there... no matter what happend...

Unknown to me, Alice had a word with her mother about the mysterious phone call from Juanita.

I failed in three more papers in the exams of June 1997, which included the paper I failed earlier.

I was supposed to meet my parents at Native Land, they would start from the city of Desert and reach Native Land. I bought a ticket to Native land from the city of Hills, it was the day after five long years that I would be meeting Alice. But my hope and excitements had faded. I was going to visit her with a wounded mettle and a dented spirit due to repeated failures and failing health as well.

My mind was heavy with anxiety regarding Alice, plus my career was uncertain, almost nothing remained of my broad shoulders and strong built.

Still I carried gifts for Alice and three A4 size dairies all full of letters that I wrote to Alice but did not mail them... Mailed letters must have gotten her into trouble... I thought I would personally hand them over to her. As I recall I wrote around two hundred and fifty ¹¹ un mailed letters to her.

I wondered even if every thing was all right with Alice, what would she say, when I meet her after five years...?

Continued to part 7

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